


strings

by honey_wheeler



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-09
Updated: 2012-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-01 16:39:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_wheeler/pseuds/honey_wheeler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They stand near the bar and she smiles and nods and pushes her hip against his when he clarifies that it’s just for fun, no strings attached. She doesn’t tell him that she’s desperate for strings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	strings

If she were anyone else, she might feel guilty for being misleading. But she’s not, so she tells Jim to tell Ryan she’s not serious. They stand near the bar and she smiles and nods and pushes her hip against his when he clarifies that it’s just for fun, no strings attached. She doesn’t tell him that she’s desperate for strings. Her beer mug is cradled in her hands as she grins and laughs and lowers her chin so she can look up at him through her eyelashes. Boys like it when you order beer, she learned that in college.

She wants to touch his hair, give him a pet name, talk about china patterns or kids’ names. She wants to tell him how she likes tulips and wanted to be a flight attendant when she was little because their legs looked so pretty in their pencil skirts and matte heels. Instead she lets him unbutton her sweater. Push her back into the couch cushions. Touch her stomach, her upper arms – all the soft places that resist toning – even though the flesh yields too much at the pressure of his fingertips, making her tense up. He tastes like spearmint gum, smells like her high school boyfriend. She imagines their children would have his eyes.

When he says he doesn’t want to marry, she tries to keep her face from falling and she thinks she mostly succeeds. People change their minds so often, really. So she keeps her voice bright when she says good night on her way out of the office and wakes up before dawn the next morning to make sure her hair is sleek, her eyeliner perfect. He might think he doesn’t want to be married, but sometimes people aren't all that sure.

Normally she wouldn’t have slept with him after only a few dates but he isn’t noticing how shiny her hair is, and her mother calls to announce her 20-year-old cousin’s engagement to a boy from Mumbai, says she’s almost 26 herself and isn’t it about time? so she decides it’s a good idea. It isn’t like she’s all that experienced. He’s only the second one. But it seems a bit more like a chore than she thought it would after her first. She figured it’d get awesome after that first awkward time, but maybe it’s because of her and she just needs to learn. His elbows are on her hair, pinning it to the pillow until she wiggles her head to free it. She pulls the sheets up over his shoulders each time they slide down, unsure of where to put her hands. On his back, around his neck? Should she be wild and sexy and grab his ass or would that be slutty and gross? Ribs seem neutral, so she splays her hands along his sides, fitting her fingers into the shallow grooves between the bones. He’s skinnier than he should be, so she thinks about cooking for him, inviting him over for a grown-up dinner party with wine and asparagus and a dessert that’s more about looking pretty than tasting good. She’s trying to decide between a soufflé and something with fruit when he finishes, jerking against her before slumping to the side. He mumbles an apology, moves his hand between them, but she says it’s okay and squirms away to duck into his bathroom, avoiding the mirror and dabbing a damp wad of toilet paper against her thighs. Why don’t boys ever have washcloths?

The next day in the office she smiles at him, sits next to him at lunch, but he doesn’t act any differently. He doesn’t bring her flowers or share secretive glances with her. When she walks over to his desk to ask if he wants to come over tonight, she's barely even opened her mouth before he's shrugging on his coat with his phone pressed to his ear and saying, _sure, I’m up for it, meet you at the court in 15_ , sparing her only a vague smile and an absent wave before he’s out the door. She pretends she was on her way to Kevin’s desk to grab a Kleenex and she spends the next 20 minutes in the bathroom waiting for everyone to leave.

When she comes out the office is almost dark, just one broken fluorescent bulb flickering over Pam’s desk. She puts her hair into a ponytail, not caring that it’ll kink. Kicks off her pretty, painful heels and digs grimy sneakers out of her desk drawer. Thinks that maybe she's not all that sure about what she wants herself.


End file.
